The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Will exercising make me less horny?
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