and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
