I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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