So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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