So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
