I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
