there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
