he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.