her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
