oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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