Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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