she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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