She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
