You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
