So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
