Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize