Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
