Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize