What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
