it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
