My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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