I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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