I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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