I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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