we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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