how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize