im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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