Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
