i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
