im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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