you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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