I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
