Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
