Whod you bang
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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