What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
