I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think your dad took our porno
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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