im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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