Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
