i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
