I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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