I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
