there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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