forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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