the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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