WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
