My liver just broke up with me...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
