I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
