Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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