I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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