WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
