this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
