Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
