I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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