You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have tasted many bathrooms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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