i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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