I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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