As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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