Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My feet surprised me
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