And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize