READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
